Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Loves of Count Iorga, Vampire

A beautiful, cloudless night greets me over the mountains surrounding my Wallachian stronghold, and two, old vampire friends from Hungary are visiting me for a week of wining and dining, and when I mean wine I mean blood, and when I mean dine well....

As my Manservant prepares our horses for tonight's hunt through Tirgoviste, I suggested we drank a fine blonde wine, 1984 Vintage, and watched a favourite film of mine, the Loves of Count Iorga, Vampire.

Now I must admit, out of all the classical Vampyres, Yorga is one of my favourites, but with only two films to his credit, I was rather sad to discover they never filmed a prequel, set in his homeland of Bulgaria, just south of where I reside now. Seeing why he was chosen, who his master was, and why he moved from Bulgaria to Los Angeles would have been an interesting tale to tell.

A modern update of the Dracula Legend, we see Brudah, Yorga's manservant collect his Master's coffin from the Port of Los Angeles off a ship that arrived from Bulgaria and take him via red pick-up truck to his new Manor in the Los Angeles Hills. Before long, he has already taken his first Bride, pleading with her daughter Donna not to cremate her so unknowing to her she will rise from the grave as his first American Fledgling.

Yorga hosts a séance at Donna's house, in her desperation to speak once more to her mother, and here we meet some of our future team of vampire hunters, the spurned men of Yorga's future brides, Erica and Paul, Donna and Michael, and two others I don't care for. After a failed attempt due to skepticism and hysteria the circle is broken, and Yorga uses this opportunity to calm Donna using hypnotism, whilst using an underlying hypnotism for her to obey his every command, whenever and wherever he should be.

Soon after Yorga begins attacking and kidnapping the women of the piece, turning them into Brides, while the men begin to interpret clues along with the help of their childhood friend and Van Helsing type Dr Hayes. Hayes begins to piece together the puzzle due to the bite marks on Erica's throat, her loss of blood, her hunger from blood when she ate a kitten, Yorga never seen in daylight, and Donna's own mother dying of pernicious anaemia just like Erica was on her way to developing.

Against his better judgement Paul drives to Yorga's mansion when Erica is kidnapped from his room, and is the first to receive the charging strangle attack of our svelte Count. Brudah breaks his back and dumps his dead body in the catacombs for the rats.

The surviving men, Michael and Doctor Hayes, with a bewildered Donna travel to Yorga's mansion just before day break to look for Paul and to test out Hayes theory that Yorga is a vampire, based on evidence from his blood tests, himself a blood specialist, and the other suspicions that he has gathered over the last few days, Yorga shoots him down with every leading question he asks, and knowing they are trying to keep him awake past daybreak, throws them out pre-dawn with a threat they will see him again.

While they gather their strength, Yorga summons Donna during the day from his coffin. She disables Michael's alarm so he and Hayes sleep too late to attack Yorga during the day, and en-route to Yorga Brudah rapes her.

As planned via Yorga's hypnotic interference, Hayes and Michael sleep past dusk and arrive too late to take on Yorga while he seeks sanctuary in his coffin. The two men unwisely decide to split up, so they can go through Yorga's mansion from the other side to find Donna, possibly slay Yorga and ride off into the sunrise.

Yorga says that a Vampyre's greatest strength is "to make a fool out of any man", and he does just that, catching Hayes trying to break in through a window, and invites him into continue their chat on metaphysics stake in hand. He proves all of Hayes' suspicions true when he takes him down the crypt where three of his current brides, including Erica slumber, and they hungrily tear Hayes apart with hungry teeth as he screams for Michael's aid, and Yorga mocks him saying that he was glad Hayes' enjoyed his little joke on Yorga, and now it was time for Yorga to have his little joke on him. Yorga then leaves the supping Brides to attend to Donna upstairs and re-introduce her to her Undead mother.

Via a Brudah detour, Michael manages to escape with two stabs of a dagger, finds Yorga about to turn Donna and uses a crucifix to hold them at bay while he gets Donna to get behind him. Yorga, knowing the full use of vampire fledglings, throws Donna's mother onto Michael's stake and runs out of the room like a little girl. As Michael gives chase, he falls victim to Yorga charging, strangle attack, but with stake in hand, uses the force of the wall, and Yorga's own Vampyre strength to pierce his heart and end his centuries of Unlife. Michael attempts to flee with Donna, even manages to lock the two remaining brides in another room, only to submit to a newly turned Donna who eats his face off.

What I would have done:

Quite clearly Yorga's only quest was to get a bevy of vampire women to sadistically control. A Vampyre after my own heart. He had no desire to turn the men and thus have any Vampyric competition so he should have killed them outright, and not played his silly cat-and-mouse game. Yorga was new to America, and failed to realise he was no longer in a small village in Eastern Europe, and whilst his habits would eventually see him cast out due to their supernatural knowledge back there, far worse was medical knowledge and the greater use of forensic science in crime solving in his new country.

The first night he took Erica, he should have taken her to his manor, and feed Paul to his Brides. That way Hayes wouldn't have been able to study her condition and come to the conclusion of Vampyric activity.

Donna was already under his control, so he could have easily summoned her the same night, and killed Michael if he even deduced where she went, or came to her room, killed Michael while he slept and made it look like a robbery gone bad.

In the case of the initial meeting of Dr Hayes, he should have nipped that in the bud right there and then. While Michael left with Brudah to 'wash his face', he should have silently commanded Brudah to kill him, and while hypnotically sending Donna into a sleep, reach across and twisted Dr Hayes' head off. Then he could have finished vampyrizing Donna, kept the women in the crypt with its secret entrance if the police happen to visit, never letting them leave the house without getting spotted, and lastly invest in doors that open from the outside but are locked from the inside to stop any further curious types, and then send the Brides on their merry way to feast....


  1. So good to have you blogging with us, Basarab!

  2. Well I've taken so much from the community around me, it's fitting that I gave back somehow...


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